One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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