The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
tell me about the eggs
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
