Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
