I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
