i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
