First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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