i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Who put my cat in the fridge?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
