weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
we're so committed to being not committed
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