great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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