in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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