Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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