broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
