Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
