I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
