dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
