You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
