you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
