I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
