His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
