I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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