she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
