just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
