You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
and she was petting her beer can
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We need to get me chipped asap
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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