he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize