when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
