During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
