My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
