her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
