You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You work out of a Hotel?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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