How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
