dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
