woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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