R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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