your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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