Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
