i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
