do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
