I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
