Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
