I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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