so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
