I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
