so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
