Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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