it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
