I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
