you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
