Do vagina's smell?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
