Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
