Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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